Pigs on the wing

Let's face it: 1884 was just a funner time to be a white guy in Illinois floggin' hog ringers.For one thing, you didn't have some damn actress getting all up in your grille about how you mangled your pigs. People thought of pigs as what Nature intended bacon to come from.

Plus you could print this awesome little map of your country with all sorts of fracking insulting names for other people's states and practically nobody would punch you in the puss for it.

And the other cool thing? These are actual nicknames; really. I kid you not. Somebody somewhere actually tagged these various states with these handles.

Missouri? The Puke State, because in 1827 enough Missourians turned up in a mining site that some smartass observed it looked like the Show-Me State had "taken a puke" on Galena.

We Oregonians are fine with Webfoots, and I'll bet that if anyone remembered that Nevada was called the Sage Hen State, or Rhode Island the Gunflint State they'd pretty much shrug.

But Kentucky the Corn Cracker State? And what about Florida; "Fly Up The Creek" State? Illinois the Sucker State? South Carolina the Weasel State (since they pretty much invented secession I'm fine with that, the cousin-marryin' bastards)? Nebraska Bugeaters? New Mexico the Greaser State - you want a side of racism with that ethnic slur, sir?

Man, things sure have changed since 1884.Y'just can't slur 'em like you useta.