Twitter Junior High

Surviving Social Media Adolescence

Illustration © Mits Katayama

Popular kids, poseurs, drama queens, bullies, geeks and weirdos—all the the archetypes we came to love or loathe in junior high school—can be found on Twitter.

Although you'll find most people fit into the "normal" category, in recent months several occurrences took some of the shine off my otherwise happy Twitter experience:

• A troll attacked me on the open time line
• Someone tried to undermine several online friendships
• I was accosted because I disagreed with an opinion
• A person unfollowed me because I didn't divulge a secret

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, a "troll" is someone who gets their kicks by issuing inflammatory comments with the intent to provoke. Trolls are cowards and bullies.  If you've not experienced one firsthand, congratulations. When it happened to me, it reminded me of how I felt when I was in a car accident—shaken and freaked out. Except in extreme cases, Twitter's terms of service allow their behavior. What to do? Two things: Unfollow and block.

SOMEONE WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES attempting to sway alliances, is strictly junior high. This type of behavior should not be validated. If someone tells you something offline that casts a negative light on someone else—think twice before accepting it at face value. Ask yourself what sort of person has the time to engage in this kind of mischief, and then use your own common sense. 

A "POPULAR KID" came to me with a notion—that people on Twitter are racist. I don't buy that. I view Twitter as a meritocracy as well as a model macrocosm of egalitarianism. When I attempted to deflect the assertion with jokes, the person became cross with me and the dialog quickly escalated, making me uncomfortable. At that point I disengaged, hoping a "cooling off period" would help. I raised two kids and learned: Do not give attention to bad behavior.

IF A PERSON YOU KNOW UNFOLLOWS you, it's usually an unhappy thing. Having someone unfollow because you won't disclose a secret is the equivalent of a "Twitter tantrum." Does one person's desire to know something trump another's entitlement to confidentiality? I don't think so. When you betray someone's trust, you'll never fully get it back. Tweetlevel says, " It is trust that makes someone act — for this reason alone, having a high trust score is considered by many to be more important than any other category."

So with all of this negativity, why keep tweeting? On the flip side, some positive things occurred:

• I've met some terrific tweeps face-to-face, including @MomsofAmerica @LoriMoreno @krystynchong @JessicaNorthey @MartyMcPadden and @Zaharoff. Actually being together, exchanging laughs, thoughts, experiences, hugs—sharing a meal—mean your virtual friendship jumps to the next level: real-life. And the thing is, people are so much cooler in person!
• My buddy, @ellies58, helped me with a complicated task to help my son, a U.S. Army captain currently stationed in Afghanistan. It demanded an exceptional amount of trust on both sides, and both of our families were a bit concerned. But in the end, Ellie and I had the last laugh because it all came together. The whole experience really sealed our friendship.
• Two friends (@iamwhite and @dallasnagata) met at a tweetup in Hawaii, courted, fell in love and got married—all of it unfolding before our eyes on Twitter. A contingent of Seattle tweeps including myself, @slickriptide and @BecauseUAreHere, virtually "attended" the ceremony at Kona Kitchen (a Hawaiian restaurant in Seattle) "live" via UStream. A dozen people gathered to watch. It was touching to see our virtual friends tie the knot.
• And last—the spontaneous hilarity of engaging with friends on the Twitter stream is difficult to describe to someone who doesn't tweet, but let me just say some of the funniest things I've ever witnessed, read or taken part in have occurred on Twitter! Beside giving millions of people a sense of place, it can make you smile and laugh—things proven to be healthy for all of us.

For me, negative online experiences have lowered my tolerance for aberrant behavior. But by far, my connections with people on Twitter have been positive and have added value to my life. I'm constantly amazed by the kindness and generosity I encounter there, popular kids, poseurs, drama queens, bullies, geeks and weirdos notwithstanding.

One of the things I realized while being treated for cancer: There is no use worrying about things you cannot change.

That goes for people, too. 

Business Cards: Still Currency in the Digital Age

I’ll never cease to be blown away meeting tweeps in real life. Thanks to @kirste (Kirsten Mitchell), who told me about the #SM201 conference, I met a ton of people at the tweetup I would otherwise not know—including some of the conference’s top-flight speakers.

It was especially fun to meet dynamic afternoon keynote speaker, Chicagoan @williger (Darren Williger), who gave a fascinating, fun and informative presentation spanning the days of bulletin boards (the first engaging social media platform) to the present. He also shared some cool information about tools available that can aggregate all of the social media streams we populate. Also great to connect with were morning presenter @Uschles (Udi Schlessinger), who talked about intelligent tool building; @mikewhitmore (Mike Whitmore) of Fresh Consulting; and afternoon panelist @digitalkvan (Nadia Aly) of Microsoft. Can I just say all of them were just terrific, not to mention friendly and nice?

The lounge at the Belcarra Apartments was lush and inviting, and the food by Russell’s Dining (Bill Gates’ favorite caterer) was fantastic. With all of the talking, shaking of hands, iPhones, Blackberrys and Droids, one thing I noticed was, people still exchange business cards.

In this digital, “wannabe paperless” age, there is still something nice about the tactile and physical experience one has receiving an attractive business card. And it doesn’t seem so “wrong” because it’s such a small piece of paper. To a graphic designer it’s a good thing, because it demonstrates the importance of investing in the creation of identities and branding, and the natural extensions to web and other collateral.

There were a few people and companies there who understood the importance of first impressions, but they were the exception rather than the rule. I noticed a number of the cards opted for a generic “template” look. Cards are reflections of each person and their companies, so it’s curious why cards would be treated like such an afterthought. Two of the speakers had run out of them altogether.

The conference offered a wealth of in-depth information on a broad range of topics. The more exposure I have to social media events such as #SM201, the more I learn and the more enthusiastic I become about Twitter. Is it just that I’ve been drinking the Kool-Aid? I don’t think so. Twitter brings like-minded people together, and I’m looking forward to meeting more of them. Just don’t forget your business card!

Udi Schlessinger and Mike Whitmore

Darren Williger and tweetup attendee

Nadia Aly and Iris Kao

Joe Kennedy

A nice recap of Social Media 201 by Udi Schlessinger @uschles
http://www.industryreview.org/search-engines/social-media-201-and-the-trip-to-seattle

I was a Twitter Conference Virgin

OK, I guess I was nervous about attending my first large-scale gathering of tweeps. It wasn't helped by the fact that the same day I had to wake up at 5 AM to arrive in Kirkland to shoot a CEO for an annual report. Driving on the east side is anxiety-provoking enough, but the thought of getting to meet—in real life—people from Twitter, had me feeling like a 16-year-old girl waiting for a new boyfriend to pick her up for a date!

The TweetHouse #140 Conference (#140tc) started at 8 AM, and I missed the keynote speech by Mashable's @BenParr, plus a few morning sessions. When I arrived I called my Twitter bud and Huffington Post blogger, @2morrowknight, to let him know I was there, but my call rolled over to his voice mail. So I went to the registration table where @sbroback (Steve Broback) and Kim Larsen introduced themselves to me, and I decided to grab a cup of coffee before venturing into the auditorium.

The place was packed. The room was dark. There were laptops everywhere and it reminded me of being at a University of Washington lecture hall. Looking across the room, I decided to walk to the left side to find a space. Spotting an empty chair, I sat next to @lindseym2 with Vittana (the startup whose t-shirts were worn that day by @scobleizer, @chrispirillo and venture associate @yush [Ayush Agarwal]). Then my iPhone rang. OOPs—I forgot to turn it off—but it was @2morrowknight!

He and I met outside in the lobby. The first pleasant surprise: @2morrowknight was not only handsome and elegant, but also charming and younger than I expected! We immediately hit it off and sat together for the afternoon sessions.

Since I arrived late, I caught the tail end of a panel discussion featuring @ShaunaCausey. Shauna was the person who told me about the conference and helped me sign up. It was hard to focus, though, because of my excitement about being there! And why wouldn't I? One of the first people I bumped into was @chrispirillo. He was adorable and personable and I felt like I was meeting an old friend, but for the first time. Imagine how cool it was to catch @BenParr, Chris and Shauna together?

Second pleasant surprise: Other people I'd been tweeting with would say, "Hey, I'm following you!" And this is going to sound crazy, but it's probably the closest I've ever come to feeling famous! The pinnacle was when @dom (Dom Sagolla) came up and introduced himself to me, saying he liked my avatar and noticed my name in the streams. I said, "Don't you know my BTF, @krystynchong?" and he said that yes, Krys had just been to his house recently! When Twitter and real life collide, it's still a small world, after all!

@chrispirillo introduced the afternoon keynote by @dom, one of the original creators of Twitter (pictured above). It was exciting, but also entertaining as well as illuminating, to get an inside glimpse of how the Twitter phenomenon was born. It was cool to see how the idea started as a sketch, and unfolded to become such a major element of so many people's lives—not only for individuals, but also for the vast number developers whose applications have been created to dovetail with and enhance the user's experience. @Invoker (Ryan Holmes CEO of HootSuite) @dacort (Damon Cortesi, creator of TweetStats and founder of United Startup) are two I had the chance to talk with. (For a complete list, click here. )

Final pleasant surprise: The tweetup at the Hotel Andra following the conference was a fantastic party. @seattlewinegal did a great job of assembling some fabulous wineries, and the Andra was a terrific venue. I had to make a beeline for @AndrewWill winery — one of my faves, but also enjoyed a tremendous Walter Dacon 2007 Appanage (@wdwines). The energy was palpable and it felt a little bit like #TwitterHollywood or #TwitterFanFest—just an amazing time.

The most striking thing to me was the friendliness exhibited by everyone, the level of fame notwithstanding. If you've ever felt like an outsider, it was the opposite experience at this conference. Tweeps are inclusive and all-embracing whether your following is 20 or 20,000. @zaibatsu (Reg Saddler) once told me Twitter is "the great equalizer," and based on this experience, I have to say I agree.

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Postscript:

Thanks to @kirste (Kirsten Mitchell) for taking the shot of me with @2morrowknight, and props to @sbroback, founder of The Parnassus Group, and @tweethouse (The Tweethouse) for putting together such an amazing conference. #140tc was one of the most fun events I've attended in my professional career, and I'm still thinking it was all a pleasant dream. :-)