Showing posts with label soccer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soccer. Show all posts

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Spring of Our Discontent

"THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer Timbers Army soldier and the sunshine Portland patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their club; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. The MLS Cup, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Rose City 'Til I Die!"

~ Timber Tom

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Katter bort!

Went to the Timbers match Sunday, and took my bride.That in itself is something of an oddity. The Loved One enjoys a good soccer match as much as the next woman, but she also loves her peace and is a woman of calm good sense, none of which is there to be had in the North End at a Timbers contest.But she knows I love both the game and the surroundings, so when our friends Brent and Julie offered us their tickets she gamely stood by her man for ninety minutes to watch the final preseason friendly against the Swedish club AIK.

It was a fairly decent match, as footy goes; one-nil to the home side, which is always polite - a guest is never pushy - although these guests played a pretty rugged game of calcio. Our new Scots striker headed one in almost before the singing started (and was desperately unlucky not to get a second before the half) and the Boys in Red held on to the one-goal lead despite some shifty work at the back.But for my inamorata the real fun was all around her.

Our capo - the leader of the singing and chanting in the Timbers Army was this wonderful gal we called "Rosie" (because she looked sturdy and energetic enough to pull a double shift at Kaiser riveting together Liberty Ships) - is a long-term fixture in Section 108 and did her usual terrific job of conducting the singing; Mojo found her quite delightful.I liked this gal, who, in the excitement of the moment, actually slipped her feet out of her shoes and stood on them. Probably easier on the soles than the nubbly terrace pavement, but whatever the reason she made for a rather cute picture.As always, the Army poured out their hearts and their songs for the team; that's the Great Tradition of the game, and in case you enjoy a good singalong, here's a terrific place on the Web to learn a new song or two: "FanChants". They even have my favorite Newcastle song to the tune of Yellow Submarine, with the chorus that goes "Peter Reid had a fookin' monkey's head, a fookin' monkey's head, a fookin' monkey's head..."One thing you can always count on in Portland is creativity, and here's my vote for the so-far tifo of the year.I have no idea if AIK has a mouse mascot or not, but Jeld-Wen Field - from the days when it was plain old Civic Stadium - really DOES have a colony of feral cats, so, there. Great signage, whatever the real Swedish mouse situation.

The real thing starts next Monday, and should be a hellacious battle; our old enemies the Flounders of Seattle are looking scary good, and we'll have to be strong and fierce to bring the Cascadia Cup home to Stumptown this season.Cats away!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Jogo da vida

My friend Brent sent me this link: lovely little article in the blog "Grantland" called "Soccer's Heavy Boredom".Now you who are regulars here know that I am an enraptured lover of the Beautiful Game. Which, as the article insists, means that I know better than a non-fanatic that the game itself - any match, many matches - can be an awful, dire, tedious slog.

And that's all true.

There's no sassy kickiness to watching two rec league teams thrash out a nil-nil draw in the rain. The Lingerie Football League it ain't.And a LOT of soccer is like that - a hopelessly dire kickabout where nothing happens for a long, long time.

But - and here's the odd thing - that's part of what makes it wonderful.

Because it's so like life itself.You spend hours, days, weeks, maybe even years, grinding away. Sleeping, working, eating, and sleeping again. For days at a time nothing happens to you that hasn't happened before and will surely happen again tomorrow, or the next day. And that goes on for years, one day following the next like tarnished beads on a dirty string. Get up, go to work, come home, read, sleep.But...every so often...Once a year, once a decade, once a lifetime...

Something achingly beautiful, or unspeakably terrible, can happen.

A sunrise, a song, the look on someone's face after making love.

A death, a war, pain, fear, the taste of chocolate, the birth of your child.

And that changes you forever.And soccer's a little bit like that, too.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Man without a country

One of the most enduring memories I will ever have of professional soccer is the "Sunflower Goal"Timbers midfielder Ryan Pore scored the only goal in the final home match in the minor league/lower division history of the club, a lovely 83rd-minute header that brought down the the curtain on the old club and the old pitch in a haze of smoke and sunflowers.Pore was well-liked here, and was one of the first five players signed by the MLS Timbers for the past season. A friend of mine met him at the new Timbers' kit release back in December 2011; she said he was ecstatic about his future and excited about the coming season and his return to the top flight.And then it all went wrong.

Pore never found his feet with the MLS club. His game has always depended on timing, speed, and craft. And he found that the MLS defenders were big enough to horse him out of his timing but were just as quick. And he was never crafty enough.

In his eight matches with the Timbers he was clearly over his head. He never scored. He never really ever threatened to score. And for a player whose game was about scoring, well...

So after a spell in the reserves he was loaned to the Montreal club, playing for the bulk of the 2011 season back in the same second-division league he'd just left. He seems to have done well when he played, scoring seven goals in eleven matches.But not well enough.

When the Timbers announced their signings for 2012 Pore was not on the roster. His option year was declined. And then Montreal declined as well.

In less than a year Ryan Pore went from top league starter happy and excited about his future to reserve team player to out on loan to a minor league club to unemployed.

In the Lesser Depression unemployment is no surprise. And certainly Pore has had more glory and made more money than many other Americans collecting unemployment today. And he is still eligible for the re-entry draft and another club might yet pick him up.But when you hear me say that soccer is a cruel game, or when I reflect about how it speaks to our lives outside the touchlines, in this way it is no different than sport writ small. Sports, like soldiering, is a country for young men, and women. They risk their bodies in hopes of a rich return, and because of the way we value that risk - regardless of the actual worth of the act, or the goods and evils of that valuation - when they succeed they are richly rewarded.

But the side we don't like to talk or think about is the dark side, the penalty for failure, the stark reality of a 28-year-old man without a job, without a club or country to trade his skills for pay. He and his wife have no promise of tomorrow or safety today.

Somewhere the smoke and the singing of the Sunflower Goal will always be loud and fresh, and the sudden eruption of the last-minute victory in the last match of the last year of the promotion season will be ever green. And in that land I will always remember Julie's account of Pore's happiness with happiness of my own, and his success on the playing field with friendly fondness.But I'll bet that Ryan and Ashley Pore don't feel that way tonight.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Spiceworld

I keep meaning to post something but life keeps getting in the way. Last night, though, it was a good sort of getting in the way; went to the Timbers vs. L.A. Galaxy match - dirty, hot, tired from a long day and, sadly, expecting just to be doing my duty as a supporter and singing the Boys on to do their best against the league leaders - and was delighted to be there for a 3-nil pasting of the Spice Boys.So I'm whacked, but the starry blaze of night still rings with song. True glory comes not in the victory but in the love - for the game, for the team, for each other and our beloved Rose City.

But I have to admit; winning is nicer.Especially when it's Posh Spice who sucks her thumb and weeps.

More blogging tomorrow, I promise.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Here and There

Busy week since the last post.

The Women's World Cup roared into the final with a pair of runaway semifinal matches; one more-or-less as expected with the USWNT defeating the overachieving Frenchwomen of Les Bleues 3-1, the other something of a shock as the Nadeshiko of Japan saw off the Swedes by a similar score.Interesting. Did you know that the nickname of the Japanese women's national team means the "personification of the idealized Japanese woman"? Seriously. And Japan being Japan, this means "acting for the benefit of the family, loyalty, domestic ability, wisdom, and humility"If there was a worse description of the JWNT I can't think of it. Their play was characterized by a ferocious tenacity. In England a certain type of footballer is referred to as a "terrier" and the Japanese women were the most terrorist of terriers in the Cup finals. You could count on one thing - they would keep coming at you. Down a goal to the Swedes, they pulled back first one, then another, and finally a third. They played an surprisingly effective possession game, finished efficiently, and seldom made errors.

By contrast the USWNT played as they had all the way up to the final, combining moments of inspiration with minutes of utter chaos. In particular, the US backline was a trouble spot against France as it was all tournament. Coach Sundhage at least recognized that Amy LePeilbet's lack of speed was a real weakness against decent forwards by shifting Chris Rampone over to left inside back to help her out. The Americans were still level in the second half before two lovely goals within three minutes put them through to the final.

Too much has been written about the final match for me to add much of note. It was a splendid show of football, 120 minutes of turn and turnabout that ended in that most unfortunate of modern accommodations to the tyranny of electronic mdeia, the penalty kick shootout.

The Nadeshiko were worthy champions. As they had all tournament they never stopped, never gave up. Down a goal they pulled one back in regular time; down another, they found an equalizer with three minutes left to play in extra time. Needing to win on penalties they made what they had to make. They lift a well deserved trophy as the best in the world.The USWNT was left with a bitter draught.

Although they were not at fault on Japan's second goal in the run of play the first was a dreadful, fundamental error - fullback 101; never, never clear the ball across the face of your own goal. The U.S. backs were panicked and acting randomly and the Japanese forwards made them pay for it.

The US finishing was appallingly wasteful. Although the Americans took three shots to Japan's one most of their strikes were not on frame. Even though they had about half the possession and many opportunities they could not find the strike to put the match away.

And their penalty taking was just dire. Missing one penalty kick is not good play. Missing three is inexcusable, and the American women will have a long two years to reflect on what might have been.The Japanese team itself, and much of the world's press, have made much of the "triumph" of the Nadeshiko over the tragedy of this spring's earthquake and tsunami, as though a fragile victory on a faraway playing field can rebuild the shattered houses and stores and factories, can console the bereft, can restore the land and people that were broken. And, certainly, for some in Japan there must be some nepenthe in enjoying the success of their women's national team.

But today the wonderful two hours are cold ink on forgotten newspaper, and the people in Tōhoku who celebrated yesterday will waken to face another day of grim rebuilding.Somehow I don't think that they are still celebrating.

In England all the news is about the "phone-hacking" crimes committed by Rupert Murdoch's employees. The English, and, increasingly, other peoples in other nations are heaping coals on Murdoch's head as evidence of his organization's contempt for laws, rules, common decency, and common sense piles up. Much public commentary on the terrible consequences in store for the media mogul amid lots of schadenfreude over the public spanking of the old swine and his lackeys.But, really.

When did anyone, any sane human, any functionally rational hominid with more than a rudimentary hindbrain think that giving this man - or any man, for that matter - the sort of power that Murdoch has over the Western "democracies" was a good idea?

And while Murdoch's personality - a crude, bullying shitweasel lacking anything resembling "morals", "compassion", or "introspection" - makes his immense unearned power all the worse because of the use he puts it to, the entire notion of allowing any single individual that sort of power is deeply, fundamentally flawed.

After all, in our modern far-flung polities we cannot hope to participate in the kabuki of citizenship without information. Information - news, gossip, rumor, research, muckraking - is power, real power. The capability to shape this information is power. And while we in the democracies have jealously doled out our political power in bits to prevent the autocratic accumulation of that power we have carelessly looked on without a murmur whilst this loathsome little man scrabbled up huge masses of it.

Now he is in difficulty because of the very sort of drives that drove him to amass that power - insatiable greed, brutal disregard of anyone's welfare but his own - caused him to break yet another set of rules. And why should we be surprised? The man has been honest about his contempt for the entire notion of "community". He is the epitome of a modern "conservative"; a selfish thug whose only limits are the capacity of his own lusts, a bloated Falstaff with a copy of Ayn Rand in place of his bottle of sack, a cartoon of a plutocrat, sneering and mocking the common scum too little and too frightened to prevent him from taking what he wanted, a caricature of a man who has no respect for anything but a boot in the face. He was born for this.

But more to the point - anyone in his situation would be dangerous, madly, insanely dangerous, as dangerous to democratic government as a viper in an unmade bed, as an unlabeled bottle of toxin in a medicine cabinet. His clutch on the information business should have been a concern of every sensible citizen of the US and UK (not to mention his spawning beds in Australia) years ago, regardless of whether he was publishing paeans to their policies or not. He was and is not the symptom but the disease, the slow, fatal poison of arrogant stupidity and blind partisan rancor that shouts its beliefs so loudly that, regardless of their value, the warnings of danger and threat cannot be heard over the moronic din. In the throes of the late stage Murdoch Syndrome an entire society can strut off a cliff because it is convinced by its own noise that the cliff doesn't exist, and that those tiny voices warning of danger are the rantings of dirty hippies who hate profit and patriotism.

Will anything come of this latest bit of dirty Murdochism?But at this point expecting our debased "democracies" - where elections have degenerated into auctions, and legislatures into brothels sucking and humping for the wealthy and powerful pimps that own them - to actually do anything about the vile Murdoch's grip on information power would be like expecting one of those debased catamites to become Solon.

No. In this, as in everything else, our own luxury, ignorance, and sloth will assure that Cousin Rupert will be invited to continue to grease our long national descent into servitude and ignominy.

And, as if to make my point with a vicious humor, the ridiculous mummery over the U.S. "debt ceiling" continues. I won't even bother to discuss it. What's the point in trying to dissect which bozo is using a bigger hammer to hit himself, his opponent, and every bystander within arm's length, harder than the other bozo?

Make no mistake; the United States has always been an oligarchy.

But at least one time the oligarchs were men who took themselves and their duty to their nation seriously. They might have been rapacious bastards intent on enriching themselves, but they at least did it with a sense of the importance of the stage on which they acted. Now all that it seems to require to take part in the Washington carnival is a monstrous ego and a complete lack of shame or personal integrity. The small handful of decent souls on the Left, like our junior Senator from Oregon, are left, like orphans in the storm, to look around them and wonder what will remain when the foul winds cease and the successors of our idiot polity emerge to claim the ruins.

What degree of fools with they think us, I wonder?

While wide and abroad the ignorant teatards clash by night we here in Portland are enjoying quite the cool, wet summer. The poor Mojo Grandparents aren't quite sure what to say. They've been here visiting for the month of July and so far we've managed to rain on them several times. I tell them it's global climate change and they just look about them in a sort of disbelieving incomprehension. Their little rental place over near Kenton is lovely, though - we stayed over the past weekend and enjoyed the hot tub and the comfortable Pullman kitchen and the high brass beds. The rain shivering the maple leaves and dappling the dark waters of the koi pond was much cozier viewed from a hot morning ofuro and a steaming cup of the richness of Colombian tilth, earthy as soil and thick with cream.

My little girl left me a message on my cell phone at work today; "Hi" she piped "Are you here, or not? Maybe you are having fun but maybe we can do special stuff! Bye!" You are pretty special stuff yourself, little girl.Meanwhile the Big Boy has discovered a "massive multiplayer online" game called "World of Tanks". He enjoys the heck out of it - though I notice that the magic is palling a little lately - even though he appears to be really terrible at it. His gameplay seems to consist of driving around until someone else shoots him up. Hey...so long as the death and destruction are just pixels.But what does make it difficult for the kid is that for some reason the game designers haven't bothered to try and give the game any sort of tactical context. It's just what is says it is - a world of tanks, clanking around spitting out projectile death like big steel bugs. The problem is that my son had to start like everyone else, with one of three types of light tanks - one, interestingly, being the pre-WW2 German "Leichtetraktor", a purely training vehicle that never fired an actual shot in anger.But the little battles he ends up in usually have one or more medium tanks as well, and the larger Pzkpfw-38t and BT-7 lights tear apart the tiny tankettes as they did back in 1939. And by the time the kiddo gains enough experience points to move up to a heavier light or a medium tank he finds himself in simulated battle against T-34s and Panthers, or M-10s and Easy Eight Shermans with his BT-7 or his Panzer III Ausf. A.I tried to explain that he got beat because in real warfare a light tank is a scouting and screening weapon, intended to face nothing more than machinegun fire of the cannons of other reconnaissance vehicles, and than a recon commander faced with a battalion of medium tanks would quickly pop smoke and grab a hat...that his lack of success against the heavier tanks was an artifact of the roles of the different weapons in actual battles versus the demands of his make-believe World of Tanks.

I don't think he got it.

But, speaking of tanks and just for the record: the Panzer IV really was a hell of a good weapon.I'm not a tank man and for me the big steel foxholes always just looked like shell magnets. But in its time the Sonderkraftfahrzeug 161 went wherever it was sent and fought whoever it found there and did its job damn well. Whether freezing cold, baking heat, rain, mud...the Pzkpfw IV was a reliable tool and a tough enemy, and where weapons are concerned you can't give much higher praise than that. The Germans of WW2 were right bastards; outside of the American Civil War South there isn't another cause in history quite as bad as Nazism. But they made some good weapons, and the ugly, boxy, clunky-looking old panzer did good service in its day.

Did you know that the last Panzer VIs fought in the Levant in 1967?No shit. The story I read is that while the Syrians armed themselves from whoever would sell them weapons the largest number of former German tanks came from France, who were also selling weapons to the new Israeli government and felt that they had to be..."fair". So they sold off some dozens of war-reparation Pzkpfw IVs to the Syrians. In the Six-Day War the Syrian armor attacked along the Golan Heights and were defeated, although with some loss among the Israeli tank corps. Several of the Syrian panzers still remain on the heights, silent reminders of battles long ago.Anything else? No? I guess that's all the blogging for today, then. Back later with the Battle for July.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Face of Destiny

History was made in 120 minutes today, as the mighty German women's national team was eliminated from the World Cup by unfancied Japan. And this is the woman that did it;Karina Maruyama, six-year veteran striker, Boston and Japan, 28 years old...and a young woman who may never again stand where she does now, having felled the German oak in the second overtime period with a clinical strike that sliced into the far side of the net.

Incredible. Stunning. Germany, the mighty Germany, has fallen.

History is made by the most unlikely people. Maruyama-san is one of those.

Friday, July 8, 2011

An Die Memel 2 : Quarter's Eve

Well, the hurley-burley's done, the group stage is lost and won; tomorrow begins the task of reducing eight to four. What did we see in the group stage that might help us figure out who's going through, and who didn't, and why?Germany is not perfect! The French scored a couple of neat headers off corner kicks in their match against the Frauenschaft. I have no idea what Germany was thinking; marking space, whether you call it a "zone" or whatever you call it, is a sin in soccer. But the final result was still a win for the gals from the Bundesrepublik, who now get to knock my poor Nadeshino Japan on the head.

For my money the Germans still look the class of the tournament. They'll have to look pretty awful against Japan to change my mind on that. Just solid all the way through.The Swedes dug deep and found something. Having slagged off on them as old and tired, their 2-0 victory over the U.S. crowned a perfect run through the group stage for them, and, more to the point, they looked fairly comfortable slapping around the vaunted Americans. Their reward was to face the ridiculously lucky Matildas in the quarters. If the Sweden that showed up against the Yanks shows up against the feckless Aussies the lutefisk-gobblers should be a lock for the semis. But that's no certainty; the Sweden that looked so unconvincing against Colombia might just turn up, and then it's anyone's match. The IKEA-fanciers have improved with every match, and I have to eat my words; they look good for a possible run deep into the knock-out stages.Brazil is both beautiful and unpredictable. The cariocas were undefeated in the group stage, and Marta and the gals from the land of football showed one of the reasons why FIFA should really just designate their side the official representative of CONMEBOL and be done with it (Colombia's dire showing was the other). But this team seems fragile, to me. And, like the Brazilian men, I think that if they come unstuck they have the potential to be truly awful. I think that if a determined USWNT shows up on Sunday things might not go well for them. I'm not sure why I believe that...but I do. We'll have to see.Australia is ugly and unpredictable. Well, they got through. That game against Guinea was awful, though, wasn't it? How you let your defenders get their pockets picked not once, but TWICE, and by the same player? Brutal errors at the back but some luck up front with help from the truly wretched Norwegians, who really need to pay a visit to their neighbors and ask the Swedes for whatever they've been using to train with.

Well done for the Matildas to get past the group stage, but I can't help thinking that unless Sweden gets very, very bad very suddenly that the dream might be over. Play for a nil-nil draw, shielas, and hope for some lucky PKs.The US has had only one good match and is looking very beatable right now. And the "good match" was against this year's designated CONMEBOL bolso de perforación of women's football, Colombia. I think I mentioned in the earlier post that the outside backs looked slow and roundable, and sure enough Amy LePeilbet - aside from the truly appalling own goal - was beaten like a drum all night by the Swedes. I thought that Coach Sundhage would see how bad the North Koreans made her look and adjust, and she didn't. Shannon Boxx looked slow and off-pace again, as well - the entire U.S. midfield was ineffective against the Swedes. Some bad luck, too, like Rapinoe's miss off the crossbar...but, still. It was the U.S.'s game to win, and they couldn't do it against a solid but otherwise unexceptional Swedish side.

So now Sundhage needs to fire this team up, needs to ensure they bring their A game against Brazil or the U.S. might not even have a chance of a consolation third. I think an aggressive U.S. still has a chance. But it's still a much less more certain chance than a quarterfinal against the Aussies would have been.There has been some really awful officiating in this tournament. I normally don't whinge about officials. Referees are like the weather; some good, some bad, some just so terrible that you want to pull your head under the covers and whimper. So long as they're just bad both ways...enh, you have to deal with them.

But the Australia-Equatorial Guinea game got rough to the point of dangerous. And some really obvious stuff went flying past the referees, not just the usual thuggery. Watch Marta's first goal against Norway - it starts here about 0:27, with the really revealing shot at about 0:41 - where she just shoves the defender down from behind. Yes, there's some lovely footwork in a second or two where she drops the Norwegian left inside back on her ass with pure awesomeness. But...if dumping the first player to ride the nose plow isn't a foul...what is? The play should have never proceeded past the initial shove. Terrible, terrible non-call. Game-changer. And not the only one I saw.

It says something that I expect a higher level of officiating - and, perhaps, a higher level of play - from the women's internationals than the men's. But I do, and this year for all that there has been the usual fine play and good officiating, there's been some truly dire stuff there, too, which is perhaps why I noticed it...

OK - so; what's next?

My predictions for the quarters:

Germany over Japan 3-0
France over England 2-1
Sweden edges Australia 1-0
US draws Brazil 0-0, wins on PKs 5-4

And the semis?

I honestly have no idea who would win between France and Sweden. I'll pick France, simply because I'd like to see the go to the final.

The other semi will be a terrific match. It'll be either Brazil-Germany or, it I'm correct, the USWNT-Germany. I think I have to pick the Germans to go through for my France-Germany final.

But the horses of the night are running swiftly...and tomorrow, we shall see.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

An Die Memel 1: Die Grundstock

I know, I know...here it's nearly the end of the first week of the 2011 Women's World Cup and I haven't written a word about it!

Trust me, it's not because I'm not interested. This year, though, I haven't been watching the tune-ups and friendlies that lead up to the Big Dance, so I wanted to give the sixteen teams invited a chance to show what they brought. I wanted to look around a little rather than plunge ignorantly forward. But every team had played one game, and now I feel confident enough of my ignorance to talk a little about this year's finals.No changes in the set-up; sixteen teams; five from UEFA (Germany, the host, France, England, Norway, and Sweden), three from CONCACAF (The US, Canada, and Mexico), two from CONMEBOL (Brazil and Columbia), two from CAF (Nigeria and Equatorial Guinea), and, rather surprisingly, three from the AFC (North Korea, Japan, and - rather improbably - Australia). The Kiwis are the representative of the "OFC", a fairly ridiculous confederation representing the tiny nations of the western Pacific.

So; I have no illusion that any comments of mine about the teams, and the results so far, will carry any weight beyond my own opinion. But, hell, what's the good of having a blog if you can't talk shit on it? So let's go!

Group A: Germany, Canada, Nigeria, France

Germany: The weltmeistershaftin still looks the class of this tournament. Their opening match dissection of Canada was accomplished with their signature style; arrogantly confident and methodical. Today's 1-0 beating of Nigeria means that they will go through to the quarterfinals. Hard to see them as anything but the favorite to win everything again.

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 100% (duh!)
Semifinals: 90%
Finals: 75%
Champions: 60%

Canada: A decade ago the Canadian women's national team had a great player, Charmaine Hooper, and managed to play just well enough to get beaten regularly by the USWNT. Hooper played for Canada for twenty years and earned the reputation as a rough player and a hard-to-like person. It's easy for me to understand why; her team, typically a collection of bobos, never managed to play up to her expectations. The current Canadian women's team has another wonderful player, Christine Sinclair. Her goal against Germany in the opening game was a strike of exceptional beauty. But I'm afraid that unless the CFA does something extreme in the next half-decade Chris is going to have a similar career. The Canadians are just good enough to make the top three in CONCACAF. And that's all. They have underperformed in every WWC they have played in except 2003. I'm sorry, Christine. You're a genuinely great player, and you deserve better.My predictions: Christine Sinclair has four years to assemble a team around her for 2015. If the CFA gets serious the next WWC may be Canada's only chance to have a go at Big Casino. Seeing Christine play the France game in obvious pain was difficult to watch. Her eyes, glaring out from inside that ludicrous facemask in hopeless rage, said all that needed to be said.France: The French women, unlike the French men, have never before been a factor in a World Cup. Their only previous appearance was an ignominious exit from the group stage in 2003. Their opening day win against Nigeria was unconvincing, but their destruction of a Sinclair-less Canada points to a very entertaining match with the Old Enemy, Germany.

My predictions:
Quarterfinals 100% (duh, again)
Semifinals: 80%
Finals: 50%
Champions: 10%

Nigeria: Women's football in Africa has been dire ever since 1991, and this year's African representatives appear to be little improvement, although Equatorial Guiana might even draw someone (we'll get to them later). Brutal hacking is the rule of the day in African football, and the women differ from the men only in degree. Nigeria's goalless exit from this year's WWC is just another argument against Sepp Blatter's insistence in expanding the finals from 16 teams. There's just not enough good soccer being played south of the equator to justify another team from CAF or CONMEBOL.

My predictions: The Nigerians are among the strongest of the men's sides in Africa, and the Super Falcons have been here before, going to the quarters in 1995. If the NFA ever gets serious about women's footy the Falcons might have a chance to make the step up to being a serious contender in world football. But at the moment, the Nigerian gals are just the latest scrimmage team provided by CAF for your amusement.

Group B: England, Japan, Mexico, New Zealand

England: The English have never gotten over the fact that they now pretty much suck at the game they invented. This year's England women's side, however, looks more promising than most. Their 2-1 defeat of the USWNT in a pre-finals friendly was a solid match, and they can both defend well and score. The draw against Mexico was a trifle surprising, but a one-goal match is never a good prediction of team play - one goal can be a fluke, or a moment's lapse, on the part of a good team. Their next match should be a one-sided walkover against the Kiwis, whose -20 goal differential is the worst in the finals outside the total unknowns like Colombia. If it isn't, there may be reason to worry that the Lionesses have reverted to the form that saw them failing to qualify for the finals in three of the six WWCs.My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 50%
Semifinals: 20%
Finals: 10%
Champions: 1%

Japan: I admit - I have a soft spot for the なでしこジャパン ever since their freakish 2-1 defeat of the mighty Brazilians back in 1995 between ugly 0-4 and 0-8 thrashings from the likes of Germany, Brazil, and the U.S. The hard-working little gals in dark blue have always seemed to me to represent the best of Japan; tireless, fierce teamwork and desire. Their skills are often lacking, and they will never be a genuine power in women's soccer.But they're in a chancy group, and they have the three points that needed to take (from the hapless Kiwis). If they can hold the English and Mexico to draws...well, I'd love to see the small women from Japan go to the quarters. (Update 7/1: Banzai! 4-0 and Japan is through! Great work, Japan, and good luck in the final eight!)

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 100%
Semifinals: 10%
Finals: 1%
Champions: Not a hope. But - ganbare!

Mexico: The female Tri are something of a problem for me. They have typically been the "third-of-three" in CONCACAF behind the U.S. and Canada, and suffer from the usual macho-Latin handicap as most other Central and South American women's teams. Where they have succeeded it has been because they have poached Mexican-heritage players from U.S. college teams. But this year's edition looks to have some skills, and their finish above the U.S. in qualifying and group-stage draw against England suggests that they aren't intimidated by the traditional powers of the sport. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that they are going to win the next two matches and go through top of group. (Update 7/1: Wow - I couldn't have been wronger. The Tri stumbled badly against Japan and will now have to completely demolish New Zealand for any hope of going through. Once again, form doesn't hold in the women's game...)

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 10%
Semifinals: 5%
Finals: 1%
Champions: 0.1%New Zealand: Honestly. Why are you here, ladies? You're the "heavyweights" of the ridiculous OFC, and so long as there IS an OFC you'll be here again and again. At least when Australia was in your confederation we got to see you alternate with the Matildas, but now we'll have to watch you give up goals and flail hopelessly against moderately good sides you have no hope of beating consistently. If there are living indictments of FIFA's greed New Zealand is one of them. Argentina is the other, but they're home watching on TV like the rest of us. Thank God.

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 1%, if some sort of immense divine intervention upsets the rules of time and space. Otherwise they may well be celebrating their goal against Japan as the highlight of their international campaign - they've only scored once before, a meaningless goal in a 4-1 demolition at the hand of China's Steel Roses.

Group C: USA, Sweden, Columbia, North KoreaUSWNT: Aside from Germany and Brazil the U.S. women are the only other perennial favorites to take home the World's Cup. And this year's edition looks solid, as usual. But there have been some small, irking flaws showing, like a crazed finish on a Dresden plate, that suggests some internal weaknesses. The WNT underperformed in the CONCACAF qualifying, losing shockingly to Mexico and only going through after a playoff win against the UEFA half-share side, Italy. And the first match began rather unimpressively, with a U.S. backline making some unforced errors and looking very vulnerable around the wings. I'll bet that the Germans and Brazilians were smirking as they watched the films of U.S. left wingback Amy LePeilbet get beat to her endline several times by a quicker North Korean attacker. Even Julie Foudy, not the most perceptive of analysts, noted that the U.S. midfield was leaving a LOT of space ahead of their backline and the Koreans put that to good use.But. Pia Sundhage is a damn good coach, and I suspect that she will have already made some adjustments to fix that problem - kicking Shannon Boxx in the ass to make her play harder wouldn't hurt; she was invisible against the Koreans - and there's no question that her choice of Heather O'Reilly was a good one. Abby Wambach now has a strike partner, and the two of them combine to make a truly frightening weapon. And given that their next two games are against the pathetic Colombians and the lethargic Swedes, the U.S should have no trouble going through. That's not the problem. At that point they'll run into the Brazilians, or the Germans. And that IS going to be a problem.

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 99%
Semifinals: 80%
Finals: 70%
Champions: 50%

Sweden: The Scandinavian women were the monsters of the sport in the late Eighties and early Nineties, but since then something has happened to football up in the land of the ice and snow. The Swedes have never won this thing but came close, losing the final match to Germany in 2003. But since then they seem to have shared the decline that Norway experienced. The next generation of Swedish players has either not emerged, or has failed to succeed at the top level. Watching the Swedes flail away against a hapless Colombia was painful, and their eventual 1-0 victory practically defines "unconvincing". They will have their hands full with the U.S., and even North Korea has the capability to surprise them. If the Swedes pull together and have a good outing against the Koreans and then hold the U.S. to a draw they might yet go through - they seem like they should be the second-best in this lacklustre little group. But the Swedes have always held the power to disappoint in abeyance.

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 60%
Semifinals: 40%
Finals: 5%
Champions: 1%North Korea: The gals from the Hermit Kingdom played their usual ugly, bunkered, counterattacking style against the U.S. and made the American women look pretty stymied for 50 minutes. But the bizarre and secretive Koreans - who, we are told, claim that their first-match loss to the U.S. this past week was due to several players having been struck by lightning early in June - just don't have the horses to compete with the big girls. They are frustrating and difficult to play because they pack behind the ball, and they showed some nice runs against the U.S. But their lack of consistent attack makes it hard for them to advance. They're luck that they have Colombia to make a feast on, and they have the capability to shock the Swedes if the latter show up in their slow mode...

Predictions: Sill go home again after the first round to face an angry Kim Jong Il and a future of starvation on the Korean soccer clone farm.

Colombia: Well, at least it's not poor fucking Argentina again.

My predictions:
The U.S. best hope for a 4-goal win in the group stage. Hopeless.

Group D: Brazil, Norway, Australia, Equatorial Guinea

Brazil: The third of the big three, but, like the men's side, prone to being either at your throat or at your feet. Struggled to get the three points against a far-inferior Australian side. Again, the next game will probably show us which Brazil showed up at this finals. Still, it's hard to predict that the most creative side in women's football won't make it onto the quarters. But the Brazilians have always seemed curiously frail to me. They have never consistently figured out Germany, and are no better than an even chance against the USWNT. So I think they will run into the German buzzsaw at some point and go home.

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 100%
Semifinals: 90%
Finals: 60%
Champions: 40%

Norway: Same-same problem here as Sweden. For whatever the reason, the Norwegians have not aged well. They're still among the best in Europe, but their game has become a parody of the clockwork lutefisk it once was, and they had a terrible time scoring even the one goal against the Guineans. Still a solid team and likely to advance to the quarters, but they will have to find a spark they haven't shown thus far if they want to advance to the final match.

My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 80%
Semifinals: 50%
Finals: 20%
Champions: 10%

Australia: So far, the inconsistent Matildas greatest contribution to women's international soccer was their nude calendar back in 2000and their tough 3-2 loss to Brazil in the quarterfinals of the 2007 WWC. I've never been able to figure the Aussie gals; they have played some fine games (like the Brazil quarterfinal) but then get hammered by sides like North Korea and Japan. They seem to draw almost exclusively from their domestic women's league, which suggests that, Lisa de Vanna aside, their players lack international skills. So far they have been beaten by Brazil, which is no disgrace, and showed some skill in doing so. A good result against Norway might see the Gals from Down Under through.My predictions:
Quarterfinals: 30%
Semifinals: 10%
Finals: 1%
Champions: Tie me kangaroo down, mate

Equatorial Guinea: Another poor punching bag from the CAF, albeit with some nice attacking skills. But the level of football just isn't there. Why, FIFA, why do you embarrass these not-ready-for-WWC teams from the global south? It's not like they're going to go on a tear at the finals.

My predictions: No hope, though it'd be nice to see them go all crazy on the Brazilians and get the upset win of all time.So. Here's my guesses for the rest of the tournament. I'll go on record now and we can revisit them to see how smart I am about soccer in general and the women's game in particular.

Quarterfinals:

Germany-England
USWNT-Norway
Japan-France
Brazil-Sweden

Semifinals:

Germany-USWNT
France-Brazil

Finals:

Germany-France

Champions:

GermanyMeanwhile, the great spectacle drives on, and we are the beneficiaries, getting to see the best women's football in the world. Play up, ladies, and get tore in.